“Oh, sorry, didn’t realize the pasta came with a taxi contract”: Birthday girl offers her friend's car as a free taxi for all her friends without telling her, so she decided to leave alone

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Oct 30, 2026 1:45 PM EDT

Just because you invited your friend to your birthday party and paid for her meal doesn't mean you can tell people she'll give them a free ride home without consulting her first. What state of mind would someone even be in to do that?

Being the friend who has a car, or in my friend group being the only one that has a license because everyone else is afraid of driving, can be hard. People tend to expect you to drive them everywhere, which can be fine if we are going to the same place, but to always have to pick everyone up, even when they don't live close by, is way too much. Having a car doesn't transform you into a taxi or a cab. You are just someone with the ability to drive yourself to places. You can take other people with you, but you also don't have to and can simply drive by yourself if that's what you want. 

I think that you can always ask for a ride from that friend who has a car, but you have to keep in mind that whether they accept or decline, both answers are fine. You can ask, but you cannot expect a positive answer, at least not always. To me, there is some etiquette for asking someone for a car ride. First of all, you need to be mindful of where you are planning for the other person to drop you off. If you live 20 minutes in the other direction, then don't expect them to drive you. Second, if they do agree to give you a ride, you cannot complain about anything. They can be the worst drivers, and you still shouldn't say anything. They are doing you a favor, not the other way around. Third, if they are doing a detour for you that is pretty far, you need to offer to pay for gas. They are doing way more than they should have. And fourth, always be thankful after it. The "driver" did something for you; you could have just called a car, but np, they gave you a ride. The least you can do is be thankful and not assume that it will keep happening. Always remember, they offered you a car ride because they are your friends and want to do something nice, not because they have to. 

So, if someone offers to give you a car ride like in this story, don't act like an entitled brat like the birthday girl from this story did. Friendship isn't some pact that makes other people always do what you want. If they don't want to give free rides to other people in your party, then they don't have to. Having a car doesn't make you a taxi, so just be grateful if the person driving is kind enough to give you a ride at all. To expect more is to simply take advantage of something nice that your friend was doing, and that will never be something that's fine to do. 

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  • Okay so I'm 21F and this happened saturday and idk if I'm being dramatic but I'm actually so annoyed Basically my friend (22F) had a birthday thing at her bfs friends house, there was like 12 of us and I wasn't drinking cause I had work at 8am. Earlier she'd asked if I could take her and her bf home, they live like 15 mins away so obviously I said yeah ofc.
    via yourFavouriteTrouble
  • Friend who was chosen as the “designated driver” without knowing. Photo is a representation of scenes.
    via Jan Baborák

    Friend who was chosen as the "designated driver" without knowing.

    Photo is a representation of scenes. 

  • Anyway around midnight I said I was gonna leave soon and she goes "okay perfect I'll tell everyone to get ready" and I'm like everyone?? Turns out she'd told FOUR other people I was taking them home aswell, without even asking me?? One of them lived like 25 mins in the opposite direction and I've literally got a 5 seater car so idk where she expected everyone to sit I told her I couldn't and she
    via yourFavouriteTrouble
  • started getting annoyed saying she'd already promised them and now its gonna be awkward, her bf then suggested I just do two trips. TWO TRIPS. At midnight when I've got work in the morning I said absolutely not and she started saying I was embarrassing her infront of everyone, then she goes "I literally bought you dinner earlier and you can't even do this one thing for me?" So I said "oh sorry didn't realise the pasta
    via yourFavouriteTrouble
  • came with a taxi contract" ngl I thought that was funny but she definitely didn't Her bf called me r de and said I was making a big deal out of nothing, I said I'd take THEM home like we agreed but I'm not driving everyone else around. Then she goes "if you was a proper friend you'd just help" and that actually upset me cause I'm always the one saying yes to everything, I hate confrontation
    via yourFavouriteTrouble
  • and normally just go along with stuff but apparently the one time I say no I'm selfish?? So I said "okay well you can all figure it out then" and left About 20 mins later my phones blowing up, she's asking where I am and when I said I'd gone home she LOST it, apparently everyone had to get taxis and one girl paid nearly £40
    via yourFavouriteTrouble
  • She said I'd ruined her birthday and deliberately embarrassed her, I told her she shouldn't of volunteered me without asking but she said I'd already agreed to take HER home and changed my mind just to be petty And tbh that's the bit making me question myself cause technically she's right, I could of just taken her and her bf and left everyone else but I was so annoyed I just wanted to go home
    via yourFavouriteTrouble
  • Now she's telling our mutual friends I abandoned her on her birthday and one of them actually agrees with her?? Saying I was right to refuse everyone else but leaving her there was childish I haven't apologised cause idk what I'd even be apologising for, maybe how I reacted but not for saying no
    via yourFavouriteTrouble
  • Friends celebrating the Birthday party before everything went downhill. Picture does not depict real parties.
    via Jarritos Mexican Soda

    Friends celebrating the Birthday party before everything went downhill.

    Picture does not depict real parties. 

  • Defiant-Smallfolk Don't apologise. She can sweat this out on her own. Tell her you will meet up again when she calms down. NTA.
    via Defiant-Smallfolk
  • JeepersCreepers74 NTA for having a backbone. This girls is manipulative, she knew exactly what she was doing and just expected you to succumb to the peer pressure. I would be very wary of any attempts to reconcile by her, likely to be a trap.
    via JeepersCreepers74
  • spring 13 NTA. She lost her access to the favor you'd agreed to do by publicly insulting you like that. That ain't friend behavior.
    via spring13
  • badchoices112 NTA. But you do need to get control of your people pleasing. What happened with your "friend" is what happens when their doormat starts talking back. I didn't realize I was doing it until I was in therapy for a while and then stopped. People I thought were my friends and several members of my immediate family reacted similar to
    via badchoices112
  • your "friend." If you've never been in therapy, probably wouldn't hurt.
    via yourFavouriteTrouble
  • Unpopular Opinion210 NTA. Technically, at midnight her birthday was over.
    via badchoices112
  • No_Fault_2268 NTA. She should apologize for volunteering you as a free taxi for everyone.
    via No_Fault_2268
  • flynena-3 NTA I don't blame you and I think you handle it exactly how you should have. That was completely ride, thoughtless and entitled of her to volunteer you, your car, your time and gas to drive other people home without even asking you! And she didn't back down and kept pushing. So you had enough and decided- I'm out, bye. As you should have. You didn't need to stand there and
    via flynena-3
  • continue to debate it with her when it was late and you needed to leave. You were doing her a favor. And her trying to gaslight you by mentioning that she bought you dinner is ridiculous. It sounds like because you usually say yes and go along with things, she now expects that all the time, which is a problem. And not how a true friend should be. So you did the right thing by finally putting your foot down and setting that boundary. You have nothing to apologize for. And your other friend who ag
    via flynena-3
  • cares? Everyone else's opinions are irrelevant, the only relevant opinion is yours.
    via flynena-3

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friendship bad friend free stuff entitled take advantage car ride
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